Self Compassion

Short post on a short quote today:

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete

-Jack Kornfield

I have been struggling with being the big brother that I want to be for my little brother, Peter, as he is making his own mistakes and finding out who he is in this world. I want to be someone who is honest but nonjudgmental, someone who he can come to for experience and advice but not someone who is trying to impose my will on his life. I think I do this well in many of my other relationships, including my other siblings, but have noticed lately that my responses to him are often derogatory or snarky in ways that push him away. Today, in conversation with my aunt, I was able to notice and sit with the pressure I put on myself to be the best brother I can be, such that any failing in the relationship reflects a decision or action that I could have done better. Furthermore, I was able to notice and sit with the pain of feeling my brother pull back from me. I think keeping this quote in mind will help me to have a better approach towards my relationship with my brother, and also a better relationship with my ability to be a good brother.